For your love is sweeter than wine

First, let me fulfil all righteousness and say this:

For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.
John 3:16 (NLT)

Now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s delve into this issue of romance and Christians.

If you grew up in a church setting similar to mine, you might have been brought up to be shy (and even ashamed) of romance, seeing it as somewhat unholy and something we should whisper about. Even on Valentine’s Day, we shy away from any real talk about relationships and romantic affection, and instead say the day is all about remembering God’s love and Jesus Christ’s sacrifice on the cross.

Listen, I am not demeaning God’s love shown in Jesus’ death on the cross. Heck! Everything I write about on this site is trying to point you to God’s amazing love, the heights of depths of it cannot be imagined. But does it mean that romance is something to be hidden under a basket? Of course not!

Romantic love is to be celebrated not hidden or veiled by false holiness. Why do we bother with weddings if not to celebrate love?

Kiss me and kiss me again,
    for your love is sweeter than wine.
Song of Solomon 1:2 (NLT)

Oh, she definitely wasn’t talking about going for a special Valentine’s Day bible study! The entire book of Song of Solomon is about longing and celebration of exclusive and devoted love between a young woman and her young man.

As is the case in real life, friends join in the merriment, lending their voices to the relationship; but not in a sadistic or envious way. They are genuinely happy for the couple.

Romantic love is made for us to enjoy, not to be shy about. However, there is warning in Song of Solomon that is often misplaced even till this day. In the midst of her longing the woman says:

Promise me, O women of Jerusalem,
    not to awaken love until the time is right.
Song of Solomon 8:4 (NLT)

Do not awaken love until the time is right. Do not go into a relationship unless you are ready. Do not arouse sexual desire unless he has put a wedding ring on your finger. Despite the euphoria both the woman and the man are feeling, they have not left the realm of reason. They are still thinking with the brain that is in their heads.

You see, one big problem of not making romantic attachment public is that sinful chaos will ensue in secret. Once chaos has done its work, most of the time, there is no going back.

Open and public celebration of romance receives support from loved ones who are genuinely interested in seeing the relationship succeed (again, check out the friends in Song of Solomon). Good friends and family help to hold the helium balloon of love down to earth, helping us think with the brain that is in our heads.

Like all things (even singleness), romantic love is a gift from God, and for this priceless gift not to lose its value, it must be handled well.

Have a lovely Valentine’s weekend.

Oh, I wish you were my brother,
    who nursed at my mother’s breasts.
Then I could kiss you no matter who was watching,
    and no one would criticize me.
I would bring you to my childhood home,
    and there you would teach me.
I would give you spiced wine to drink,
    my sweet pomegranate wine.
Your left arm would be under my head,
    and your right arm would embrace me.

Promise me, O women of Jerusalem,
    not to awaken love until the time is right.
Song of Solomon 8:1-4 (NLT)