Sweeter than the love of a woman

Who would make a hole through a stranger’s roof to save you? What friend would you rather be sitting in silence with than making out with your dream crush?

I’m having my annual (sometimes biannual) Lord of the Rings Fest when I take out a night or a couple of days, depending on my schedule, to watch the entire trilogy. As usual, I am shocked by the power of friendship between Frodo and Sam. I know we often love to make a little bit of fun of Sam’s devotion; but wow! That guy is just wow!

FYI, your friendships have absolutely nothing to do with you. We are friends for the other person.

Facebook and Instagram have taught us otherwise and made us crave attention and self-gratification like puppies. That’s why we’ve been in a global depression pandemic for at least 10 years.

We see friends as people to do something fun with or someone to take away the boredom; but there is so much more to be had. Intimacy awaits us in good friendships.

We have sexualised intimacy and limited it to the bedroom. However, true intimacy is a connection – call it spiritual – that enables us to lay ourselves bare and be vulnerable, no masking or trying to seem like your best self before another person; naked but not ashamed. It is sweeter than any form of romantic chemical reaction.

David defined what we call today ‘The Bro Code’ (in PG version: bros before women), saying, “I am distressed for you, my brother Jonathan; very pleasant have you been to me. Your love to me was extraordinary, surpassing the love of women”. Jon, our bromance is one of the most important things to me; forget babes. Unfortunately, Jonathan had just died and David was lost. He had spent his days putting his life on the line for David.

Centuries later, Jesus said, “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends”. True intimacy in true friendship is until death. It is not intoxicating and senseless like undue obsession with a particular person. Neither is it fleeting and illogical like romantic emotions. (In my opinion, Romeo and Juliet were fools. What exactly did they die for?).

True intimacy is well-thought through. It is logically counting up the cost and finding the other person to be worth it.

Ruth, a widow, shows her intimate devotion to her mother-in-law, Naomi, saying “Wherever you, I will go; wherever you live, I will live. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God. Wherever you die, I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord punish me severely if I allow anything but death to separate us!”. Woah! Naomi just go with it.

Meanwhile in the New Testament, friends made a hole in a roof just so a paralysed man could be healed. They didn’t know if this teacher they call Jesus could really do something but it was worth a try; their friend was suffering. They could have been sued for the damage but they didn’t care. We also see Paul on death row and Dr. Luke who stands by him no matter what.

There is no greater love than to lay down your life for a friend. What sort of ‘friend’ are you? What sort of ‘friends’ do you have? Are they just for hanging out or liking your posts, making you feel good about yourself?

Are they just for Xbox or Minecraft and once that’s done you don’t need them anymore? Or are they your friends because you want to serve them sacrificially?

That last question sounds a bit uncool but that’s the real thing. The truth does not care about being attractive; it’s just what it is.

“How the mighty have fallen
    in the midst of the battle!
“Jonathan lies slain on your high places.
    I am distressed for you, my brother Jonathan;
very pleasant have you been to me;
    your love to me was extraordinary,
    surpassing the love of women.
“How the mighty have fallen,
    and the weapons of war perished!”
2 Samuel 1:25-27 (ESVUK)