There are so many more efficient uses of your time than waking up early on a Sunday to go to a church meeting. I say this with all seriousness, no sense of sarcasm whatsoever. There are more important things for you to do than being ‘churchy’ or ‘spiritual’ if deep down you are really not interested all that.

I am talking to people like me who grew up in a Christian home or going to church and still wake up every Sunday to dress your best and sit in a congregation. Be honest, deep down, do you really believe in what’s being said, or do you have to rewrite a version of the readings and sermons for yourself just to make it more palatable? Are you even listening?

Yeah, you believe in God or some sort of higher being, a sense of spiritual supremacy but this whole follow Jesus, always singing, no sex for fun thing… . You are not quite sure about all that. Actually, you don’t really care. Why bother if you don’t believe?

Do you go for the sake of tradition because that’s all your family and ancestors have ever done? Now, that’s just double slavery.

Does it give you a sense of holiness and completeness by performing the ritual acts? Meditation does the same.

Do you want to taste a little but not commit to the whole pudding? Having a sip but never buying the entire bottle of wine because the cost is way too expensive? That’s only half-living. It would be better to live fully without ever tasting than to taste a little and pull back.

Do you go because that particular pastor has words that will give you the key to wealth? When did you ever see Mark Zuckerberg chasing a pastor? There are so many rich people in this world – those that wealth fell upon them and others that worked hard for it – that have never been to church a day in their lives.

Do you love the power being part of a church makes you feel? Elsewhere you work a menial job, undervalued and underrated, living in a tight one room apartment and struggling to pay for your daily needs. Yet, when you put on a suit and walk into church, you are no longer Julius the Minimum Wage Employee. You transform into Julius the Head Usher. I actually feel you; but what happens when your tenure as the head usher ends? Or a more important question: what happens when you finally get that big break and start earning a six-figure salary? Will church still be as important as it was to you?

Do you go because you are seeking revenge against your enemies? Wrong place; you will find what you are looking for at an Ifa shrine. Just one tip before you go: If you ever are patient enough to dig deeply into the matter, you would discover that you are one of your greatest enemies. So any curse you pronounce against your enemies, you are invoking disaster upon yourself.

Do you dress up fine to catch a sexy bae as a potential wife in church? These days there’s Tinder, Match.com, eharmony and my personal favourite, UniformDating.com (I’ve never used it though). If all that fails, there is always the option of allowing your family to find a selection of matches for you.

Do you just love dressing up and looking better than others? Self-worth is not in clothes and makeup.

But are you genuinely thirsty for something you just can’t put your finger on? No matter how much happiness surrounds you in life that thirst is still there. Do you long to know more about this God people are always talking about? Are you tired of ritual and pretence and want something real? You want to know what truth is. Or are you simply curious? You are the person I write for every week on this website.

So, keep coming, keep pushing, keep prodding. I pray you find the answer.